THE GOAL FOR 2018: 200 MOVIES WATCHED BY MIDNIGHT NEW YEAR'S EVE!  (AFTER TOPPING OUT AT 194 in 2017)

CAN HE DO IT?

​​THE WEBER MOVIE COUNTDOWN

SCORCHY (1976)

Woo-hoo!  It was time to watch Scorchy again – and freshly recaptured on a brand new Blu-ray!   This film was made for Pam Grier, from the dialogue to the scenarios to the lovemaking to the nude swimming with neighborhood ducks, just perfect!!

Except for one thing.

Pam did not star in this.  Nope.  Would you believe Connie Stevens.  CONNIE STEVENS??  “Kookie Kookie Lend Me Your Comb” Connie Stevens??  Way past her prime Connie Stevens??  Ridiculous outfits that look like flamboyant pajamas designed by Bob Mackie, who used to dress Cher??  Uh-huh!

Which makes Scorchy a primo Bad Movie Night candidate!  See, Scorchy is a cop, and Normann Burton is in charge of her.  He seems tense – so she makes him an offer to ease that tension that I won’t spoil by naming here but it’s clear we’re off to the races!  She’s trying to help nail a drug dealer (Cesare Danova) so she’s sort of undercover (she actually knows the guy – he lent her money to buy a plane.  Really).  There’s a ridiculous but well-filmed car/cycle chase that features Scorchy on a stolen dune buggy flying through the streets of Seattle (!).  There’s the topless scene swimming with a bunch of ducks (who I’m guessing weren’t even well paid for their ordeal).  There’s her sex scene with Greg Evigan (of BJ and the Bear and My Two Dads) which ends with the poor guy getting harpooned in the back.  This was the poor guy’s film debut.  And the weirdest thing?  I don’t think anyone EVER calls her Scorchy in the film! Jackie, yes.  Scorchy, no!

Poor Connie is way past sexy ingénue roles here – almost embarrassing to see her close-ups.  More like sexy grandma.  It’s fun and lively – but not in the ways the producers expected.


TLA one-word review: inane

THE WEBER MOVIE COUNTDOWN