THE GOAL FOR 2018: 200 MOVIES WATCHED BY MIDNIGHT NEW YEAR'S EVE! (AFTER TOPPING OUT AT 194 in 2017)
CAN HE DO IT?
THE WEBER MOVIE COUNTDOWN
August is the time of year when studios dump their questionable material into theaters. As summer winds down, everyone gets in those last few vacation days, fires up the barbeque – and few venture into the multiplex. But there’s got to be something playing alongside the blockbusters that are playing out their strings. And that is why Kidnap is at a theater near you now. Filmed in 2014 but shelved until now, partially due to the Relativity Media bankruptcy, Halle Berry is a waitress with a cute 8-year-old son. She works her butt off at the greasy spoon and is divorced – and now her ex wants full custody, leading Halle to take a phone call from her attorney and step away from her son playing in the park. Bad move, because when she returns a few minutes later, she can’t find him. She looks everywhere until she sees a beefy woman dragging her son into a crappy car and driving away. Halle runs for her minivan, losing her phone in the process, and gives chase. And this is where Kidnap gets really stupid and ridiculous. Both cars drive like crazy on the freeway, causing all sorts of accidents – not involving either car, of course. She drives after the kidnappers (there are two, a pair of really grotesque people) and risks her son’s life CONSTANTLY, trying to force the car off the road, hit it from behind, you name it! I mean, geez! Also there are NO police anywhere while this chase is going on – save for a single motorcycle cop that gets caught between both vehicles and before you can say “Chips,” he goes flying down into the asphalt. It is IMPOSSIBLE to watch “Kidnap” without yelling “oh come ON!” at the screen every 22 seconds. There’s one scene where she actually pops into a sheriff’s office, where she is told by the female officer there that there is no one else there, and that she can have a hundred cars searching for her son – in one hour. ONE HOUR?!? Later on, in the climatic scenes where she calls 911 from the kidnappers’ house, she is told that the police will be there between 7 and 15 minutes!! Is there a cop shortage in New Orleans, where this was filmed? Anyway, Kidnap never stops being unbelievable. It will hold your interest as you wait to see what nutty thing will happen next. Berry’s good, but she can only do so much with this material. Kidnap may drive you crazy!
TLA ONE-WORD REVIEW: driven
THE WEBER MOVIE COUNTDOWN